I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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