He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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