So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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