I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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