Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
