2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
