belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
