The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
