I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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