U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
