I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
