I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My bed smells like the plague
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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