I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
