This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
