his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
