i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
