I cannot find my penis.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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