i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
