i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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