He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
