If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
