My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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