I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
