P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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