She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
