Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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