I never want to see another naked old woman again.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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