It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
