Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
