I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
