My first STD was from a foam party
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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