it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
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You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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