You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
