an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
