Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
