But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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