The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
