Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
