We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
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i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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