I hate your face
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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