man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
