I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
