Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dick very happy bro
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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