no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it's great music for shaving your balls
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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