Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
