I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
