i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
