ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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