If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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