and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
