SEEEEXXX PLEASE
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize