If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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