We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
