Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
