So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
