Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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