...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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