planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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