best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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