spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
