Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
