I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
