Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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