he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
