your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
