So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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